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Five ways of dealing with emotional painĀ 

Being hurt is part of life. A part that we cannot evade. Pain is like unexpected visitor that no one wants to spend even a minute with.  Since no one can really postpone or avoid being hurt, then here are five ways of dealing with emotional pain.

Accept. 

Most times when we are hurt, we really don’t want to be believe it.  We hang on the slightest hope that the person who hurt will come around and say that hurting us is the worst thing that they ever did in their lives and that they regret it.  However, in most case this does not happen.  Hence when we are hurt,  it is safest to realize it and accept that we are actually hurting.  Accepting is the first step of healing.  Accepting saves one from thinking of what they could have done better. Most times  no matter what we do or how much we try we still end up hurt.  This is because some things are just bound to happen. This is actually the main reason why accepting is very important.

Grieve

In my short life I’ve learnt the worst way of dealing with pain is holding it in. When you hold in your pain, it turns into a viper that devours you from the inside. When hurt, let the pain out.  Use whatever method you find best: go on top of your flat and shout,  cry your heart out or soak yourself in the bath tub.  Do not however result into drug abuse.  Abusing drugs only makes you forget the pain for a moment but when you sober up, you will still have to deal with it.  Drug abuse is just as bad as not doing anything about your pain. You should also not postpone grieving. This only accumulates the pain inside. 

Distract yourself. 

The third phase of dealing with pain involves distracting oneself from the pain.  Find something interesting to do. This may involve reading a book, watching a movie or hanging out with friends. Do anything that makes you smile. Whatever you do make sure it does not remind you of the pain or what caused it. Staying idle or locking oneself indoors only makes the person think of the pain, the causes and what they could have done different. Keeping oneself busy helps one forget and with time you will find out that remembering what happened does not hurt as much or you might even remember it less. 

Give yourself time to heal. 

It is normal that at times you will think about your pain but if it hurts less each time,  it means you are healing. Giving oneself time to heal involves avoiding putting one in situations similar to those which broke one’s heart in the first place. For example if your emotional pain is because of a relationship that did not work,  it would be wrong to enter it another days after the previous one broke. Healing may take time. Some people will require more time than others. However, healing,  no matter how slow,  restores your positive outlook on matters. 

Move on. 

Most of the times in life when a door closes,  we look so much at the closed door that we don’t see the many open doors around.  Moving on involves seeing those other open doors. There are things you would like to hear that you will never hear from those you want to hear them from but it is only a fool who will not hear them from those who say them from their hearts.  This what moving on involves.  Just because things went wrong the last time you tried doesn’t mean things will always go wrong for you.  Give yourself a second chance because life is full of second chances and who better to experience the joy of having one than yourself. 

The forgotten boy child.

In the quest to empower the girl child, the boy child has been forgotten. It is surprising how all attention has been shifted to the girl child leaving the boy child unsupervised and unattended to. This is because of the belief that the boy child can take care of himself. However, just like the girl child, the boy child also requires mentors and role models to emulate.

The vigorous energy directed into empowering the girl child has resulted in the girl child not only taking her rightful position but also that meant for the boy child. Efforts that were initially meant to promote gender equality have ended up disadvantaging the boy child. It is therefore not surprising that among the over eighty eight thousand candidates to be admitted into public universities this year, over fifty thousand are girls while the remaining percentage which is less than fifty percent is of boys.

The family is said to be basic unit of the society. If the girl child is over-empowered then what kind of families are we trying to bring into existence? Although the girl child is trying to break the shackles of traditions, some traditions like the position of the man in the family should not be undermined. This is, unfortunately, what the present gender equality campaign is trying to do.

This country and the world at large requires an empowered boy just as much as it requires an empowered girl. The move to promote equality should therefore not end up resulting in brewing inequality. The only solution is ensuring the boy and girl child are at par to ensure a stable future society. Organisations that seek to help the boy child should therefore not be given labels such as chauvinistic but instead be supported.